Terrible horror movies have always had a place in my heart, with the absurd nature of these movies always being what I found myself focusing on. The odd, awful, and campy parts of horror are what draw me in, all of the nonsensical and bizarre things that come alive to kill, dismantle, and even dance intrigue me like no other genre can. Movies that center on random everyday items, turning them into killer objects, whether they be professionally produced films or low-budget indie films, always draw me in.
Various Electronics from the 80s 3/5
Maximum Overdrive (1986) – Stephen King
Maximum Overdrive is a movie written and directed by Stephen King in 1986, while King was suffering from a severe substance abuse problem. A perfect summary for this movie would be if a zombie apocalypse film were just trucks and random electronic appliances from the 80s. The film is very scattered in nature, choosing to introduce the chaos of their big event with scenes back-to-back, very similar to many zombie movies. The story is centered around a truck stop where the main characters get stuck, surrounded by killer trucks, following the same apocalypse motifs, and playing between the lines of action and horror. This is the only movie Stephen King has ever directed, and I am not that disappointed he has never directed another. I think his substance abuse problems were very apparent in the final product, which did not have as strong an identity as it should have had. It seemed as if the movie couldn’t pick a genre, starting as a solid horror and then moving into full-on action. It may be one of the messiest works of the legendary Stephen King.
A Tire 3.5/5
Rubber (2010) – Quentin Dupieux
For a movie about a killer tire, it surprisingly never runs anyone over. Truly, don’t expect anything from this movie. The intro starts with an explanation of the art of having no reason in film, saying they are going to pay homage to this idea. This is very prominent throughout, having the start of the film be of an audience that watches a tire come to life, slowly rolling towards a rabbit with the tire shaking, then telekinetically exploding the rabbit’s head. The film nearly mocks the audience, having a bloodthirsty tire that never runs anything over, treating it as more of a human than anything else. If you want to watch a movie that was made for no reason at all, Rubber (2010) is a great start.
A curved wall 4/5
Curve (2016) – Tim Egan
The only short film I am including in this list is Curve (2016), which really deserves the recognition. Coming in at just under ten minutes, the film has a very slow-burning pace as it starts with a girl dangling on a curved wall hanging over an abyss. There is an anticipation held over you as you watch her try to fight her way up higher on the wall, slipping and losing her progress, ripping up her hands in the process. Although it doesn’t align with the rest of the list, as it is more psychological than a killer wall, the short film does a great job at making you feel a sense of helplessness. Watching as this girl is losing the fight against life slowly, waiting to fall into this seemingly endless pit, it’s a very simple premise that leaves a lasting impact once finished. I highly recommend taking the time out of your day to watch this short film; even with its short run time, this truly is a piece of art.
A brown reclining chair 1.5/5
Killer Sofa (2019) – Bernie Rao
Killer Sofa (2019) instantly caught my attention as I was researching for this article. It was something I simply could not pass up. The name oddly does not match the main object in this film, being more of a chair than a sofa. With its ridiculous premise, it does not take itself seriously, accepting the campiness of a killer couch, poking fun at itself throughout. As much as I love terrible horror movies, I honestly just did not find any enjoyment from this movie. The expectations I had were already set very low, but while watching, I had to lower them even more to find anything redeeming from the movie. It follows a girl named Francesca who buys a brown reclining chair second-hand, which ends up being possessed. The chair kills anyone who enters her house and moves startlingly fast for a chair. They never really do anything interesting with the chair, killing a person with an iron off-screen. I don’t know how it could get lamer than that. The movie just kind of drags on; the title and premise of the movie are the only interesting things about it.
Multiple pairs of jeans 4/5
Slaxx (2020) – Elza Kephart
The shining pillar of light out of every movie I watched was Slaxx (2020), a horror comedy about multiple pairs of killer jeans. This movie embraces the campiness of a premise like pairs of killer jeans and plays around with it very well. Every character seemed to be an exaggerated caricature of an existing mold in the workplace. The crazy manager who would figuratively kill for his promotion literally kills to protect his company in the movie. Everyone in the movie, except the main girl, had a terrible attitude, being full of sarcasm, making their deaths seem a bit satisfying. This movie was surprisingly interesting, having everything you would want in a campy movie, such as this, at some point, even having the pants do Bollywood dances. One of my new favorite terrible horror movies; if you want to get into the genre, this is a great start.
